He will answer

So the last week we have had alot of life, family, big decisions to make and we want to make the best decisions for our family and future, but we want them to be God's will and his decision. So Dan and I have been praying together and alone alot this last week and we have been patiently waiting for God's anwers. Well he did!! Everytime we ask him something...I am always like ok will he answer, will I know its from God, when will he...those are the things I think about when its a huge thing and I do not want to make the decision without asking God first. I know I should ask God about the little things too...I have been doing it alot more...I think that its just remebering to ask him about the littler decisions. Anyways, I know I should not doubt him, but when you have a personal relationship with him and he speaks to you...it is so awesome and sometimes you just can't believe he took the time to answer my questions. He will answer them through people, through situations, feelings, and plan just telling me.

Matthew 7:7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

Isaiah 65:24 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

Reflection

So tonight my 5 year old daughter and I got into a really big fight...yeah something that would happen when she was like a teenager. Yelling, screaming, attitude, mean things said and craziness. Well she has been acting up lately and it has been really bothering my husband and I. We have not known how to really deal with it...so tonight it came to a HUGE fight. Well then afterwards there were a lot of tears and apologies. I feel horrible, she feels horrilble and then we hugged, forgive each other and took a walk before bed. Well I can not get over it. I have been praying and crying and I just can't seem to move past it...so I knew I needed to blog about it to get the thoughts out of my head. Well how do I expect so much from a 5 year old when I have barely any self control as well. She talks with attitude as do I and she yells as do I. She is me...and parts of her are the bad parts of me. It is really hard. Your child is a mirror of you...whether you like it or not. And I do not like it. It is really hard at five to figure this all out, because now she is who she is. I love who she is don't get me wrong, but her stubborness and her attitude and not listening drive me bonkers. I wish I could have done it all over again. I was young, naive and a single parent and I did not take my job seriously. (Parenting Job.) It breaks my heart that I have been this way...you know so much more with your second child and with age. I feel like I cheated my first born out of alot of things. I am a great parent now and I am trying to do my best with my second one who is almost six months old, everything I did wrong with Chloe I promise I will not do with Ella. But how is that fair...it is hard to realize but it is reality. I just am doing my best now and I pray for her and my relationship that it will be strong and I also pray for the teenage years that we will have figure it out before that time comes. Also I have been praying about it and I feel that God is telling me to not care what other people think. I want Chloe to be the perfect child, because it is a reflection of me...but you know what I have to stop caring about what people think and start being an advocate for my daughter...who cares what people think about me as a parent...I care what Chloe thinks of me and God, because in the end that is what matters. My relationship with Jesus and my family.

Talk to God

So on Sunday at church our sermon was about talking to God. Asking him questions? It is so true...if you want to know what to do in a situation just ask. Sometimes I forget to ask and struggle with figuring out what to do in a situation and other times I doubt God. I doubt that he will answer. So ridiculous...right? I have got to get better about constantly remebering to ask him...I DO know that he will answer...it just might not be what I want or how I want him to answer. So with that note I will try to ask him and remember to talk to him regularly. Ok off that topic we are moving and we will start cleaning and painting the new place this week and hopefully start moving everything this weekend. I am excited, but there is alot to do. We have to clean the new place and the old place, I do not know how this is all going to work with two kids, and not just any two kids, one is a REALLY needy baby...I can not just drop her off with someone while I get stuff done. My friends have been offering to take both kiddos while we do stuff....oh how lovely...not...my babe will not go with anyone but me or her daddy. Also she LOVES to be held. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE that my baby needs me and wants to be with me all the time and to be held....it is usually ok, but it does make it hard sometimes....oh well. I know we will get it done it just might take awhile and it might be hard. :) Oh....this is where I would just go about my way and try to do it myself....but no...I am going to ask God to give me patience while cleaning and moving and to have Ella and Chloe be as easy as possible...ok I guess just to really give me peace and patience! :) Anyways...also we got Ella the excersaucer...Chloe LOVED the swing, bouncer, excersaucer...she loved it all...no not Ella...she is ok for a couple minutes but then wants to be held. Well with the excersaucer she really likes it. So lets hope we can use that while moving. Also Ella is rolling all the time...it is cute...perfect time to move...we can babyproof the whole house. Yeah!! :) Chloe will be starting kindergarten in about 6 weeks...crazy....I will have a child in school...everyday...from now on for a LONG time!! It is crazy how fast they grow!! :)

God is Good

So Ella had a little umbilical granuloma, and we did not know what it was. So we met with the pediatric surgeon on Monday morning. The week before we were praying diligently for her and her belly button. Well the previous weekend it out of nowhere started to dry up. So we kept her doctor appt and the surgeon said that it was just a granuloma and that we are "lucky" that it started to heal otherwise he would have to put a stitch around it to cut the circulation off and then it would fall off. So all he had to do was put some stuff on it to help the healing process...so it was very awesome and easy. Thank you God for hearing our prayers. Now all we need to worry about and pray about is her acid reflux which does seem to bother her alot.